A Long Distance Relationship!

What are the implications of being away from your child because of your studies and can they have negative outcomes??
This topic touches me even though I do not relate. It has affected my family very negatively because it happened to my cousin, who had a child at 17. Who's mother decided to take the child because of her studies and raise her as her own. By the time they were brought together the child had already established a bond with her grandmother and did not know who her real mother was so to avoid confusing her both my cousin and her mother decided to hide who her real mother was till she was 10. When the child learned the truth she was confused, and angry she did not understand why it was kept a secret for so long but she resented her biological mother more and till today she does not have a stable relationship with her biological mother and she regards herself as her grandmothers last born.
How could they have avoided this?
Firstly they could have been honest from the beginning, my cousin should have insisted on a relationship with her daughter because our parents are not always right they also make mistakes even if they they think it is for our well-being and a mother and daughter relationship is very important no matter how far you are from your child communication is key.
So should you study away from your child?
Introspection is key, you have to question yourself of the reasons why you want to study away from your little one. Are you running away from your responsibilities as a mother for a little freedom or do you really have to be have to be in another Province or Town to get the education you need.
Based on this you can then consider the consequences of being away from your child like not being able to maintain a stable relationship between you two, your child hating you for being away from him\her the list is endless so it is important to understand these implications before you make the ultimate sacrifice as heart breaking as it is.
So student mothers out there if you also study far and do not see your child often it is important to maintain a healthy relationship with your child and to not be consumed by the hype of your new found freedom. Communicate with your child. Take every opportunity you get to see your child and most importantly  make sure you establish a bond with your child so that no matter how far away you are they know they know they are loved by you.

The challenges of being a student mother!

There is no precious moment then when you come back home after a long day of school to a big smile, a warm hug and a big kiss from your little one. For a few seconds you are in your own little heaven where only the two of you exist and nothing else matters. Then reality hits, you remember you have an assignment to finish, a test to study for while on the other hand you have been away the whole day and your little one demands your undivided attention, then your head starts spinning!

That is a reality for many student mothers world wide myself included. When faced with a situation similar to that one goes through a series of emotions like frustration, anger, regret, guilt but the most dominant of them all is self pity. Which leaves you feeling like the universe hates you, that your life is over and everything seems bleak at that point.

Unfortunately the world does not owe you anything, life is not fair and feeling sorry for yourself will only worsen the situation that is when you have to enforce a coping mechanism. I for one am blessed with a good support system from family and friends but I have established that my best coping mechanism is my daughter. She fuels my hunger to succeed because not only am I working towards my future but for hers as well which gives me the pressure I need for my desire for success.
There are however many single student mothers out there who do not have a support good system and rely solely on themselves.They have been disowned by their families and have no relationship with the father of their child(ren), who have to break their backs daily juggling school, work and parenthood. I can only imagine how difficult life may be for them but there are inspirational people women to look up to, who have
suffered the same fate but have triumphed, women like of Maya Angelou, Sandra Bullock and Erykah Badu who would tell you that the best coping mechanism is wanting the best for your child(ren).

As ironic as it may be you need the one thing that has caused frustration and difficulty together with a little faith and perseverance, to succeed.