This topic touches me even though I do not relate. It has affected my family very negatively because it happened to my cousin, who had a child at 17. Who's mother decided to take the child because of her studies and raise her as her own. By the time they were brought together the child had already established a bond with her grandmother and did not know who her real mother was so to avoid confusing her both my cousin and her mother decided to hide who her real mother was till she was 10. When the child learned the truth she was confused, and angry she did not understand why it was kept a secret for so long but she resented her biological mother more and till today she does not have a stable relationship with her biological mother and she regards herself as her grandmothers last born.
How could they have avoided this?
Firstly they could have been honest from the beginning, my cousin should have insisted on a relationship with her daughter because our parents are not always right they also make mistakes even if they they think it is for our well-being and a mother and daughter relationship is very important no matter how far you are from your child communication is key.
So should you study away from your child?
Introspection is key, you have to question yourself of the reasons why you want to study away from your little one. Are you running away from your responsibilities as a mother for a little freedom or do you really have to be have to be in another Province or Town to get the education you need.
Based on this you can then consider the consequences of being away from your child like not being able to maintain a stable relationship between you two, your child hating you for being away from him\her the list is endless so it is important to understand these implications before you make the ultimate sacrifice as heart breaking as it is.
So student mothers out there if you also study far and do not see your child often it is important to maintain a healthy relationship with your child and to not be consumed by the hype of your new found freedom. Communicate with your child. Take every opportunity you get to see your child and most importantly make sure you establish a bond with your child so that no matter how far away you are they know they know they are loved by you.
Its difficult because at times you don't leave home by choice, you leave home to go study so that you can make something of yourself and child but maybe calling often, visiting your child when you can and spending as much time as you can with them can may be prevent what you have posted.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly, I wish other student mothers who study away from their child could realise the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with them.
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